Foster Parent Classes, Week 2

Last night was the 2nd night of our Foster Parent Classes (only 8 more to go!). It was significantly better than the 1st. We did a role play and it really opened my eyes to families and children that are in the foster care system.

Of course, when the social worker asked for volunteers Luke and I offered our services. We are so shy that I know this must be a shock to you all ;). Anyway, we were given the role of the "Birth Parents." We had 2 children, ages 6 and 2. Other than an estranged sister and a brother (who later is exposed for molesting our oldest child) we have no family or support groups.

"Birth Father" is a factory worker and me, "Birth Mother" is a stay-at-home Mom. We got married right out of high school and have been together for 10 years. When Birth Father was laid off from his factory job things started going down hill. Our oldest "daughter" wanted to go the circus and when we expalined we didn't have the money, Birth Father became angry and slapped her, causing her to hit her head on the wall and have a concussion. After being investigated by social services and it being deemed it was an isolated incident, we went home from the hospital with broken spirits. Later, Birth Father became frustrated, we got into an argument and he left to go have a few drinks and cool off. On his way home, he wrecked and totaled our car and was taken to jail.

To make a long story short, Birth Mom ended up slapping the oldest child again and both kids were placed in foster care. After many more scenarios and a lot of emotion, the family was reunited and services put in place to give them stepping stones in the right direction.

I told you all of that to say this: I really think my previous thoughts of families that "needed" foster care was unfair. I typically thought that all families that lost their kids in the foster care system were not fit parents. However, after role playing the Mom in this situation, I can see how things could snow-ball out of control. I kept thinking about Lucas and Ashlee, who are almost 2 themselves, and how I would feel if something happened and they were taken from me.

It's frightening but it happens. I think God certainly used this experience to make me see that our role as foster parents is much more different that what I first envisioned. I am eager to see what else He will reveal over the next 8 weeks...

Instead of "Why Me?" I say "Why Not Me?"

We have some friends who recently had their 1st child. Let me back up... We have some friends who tried for many, many months to get pregnant. After a lot of fertility issues, they finally conceived. During her pregnancy, my friend faced quite a few issues. Although they were all relatively minor, she developed gestational diabetes and some other pesky but controllable problems. (Back to the beginning of my post, now.) Recently, this couple had their baby. He is a beautiful 7lb 3oz little boy. However, b/c she became pre-eclamptic, they induced her and as a result the baby got an infection. Now, they are having to stay in the hospital with him for a minimum of 28 days. They are taking it in stride, glorifying God that it's nothing more serious and dealing with what has been placed in front of them.

Then, there is another family. The Lawrensons (see the side link for Nate, Tricia and Baby Gwyneth). They continue to amaze me. Tricia has cystic fibrosis. Her outlook on this fatal disease is amazing. She looks at it as a way God has allowed her to reach people for Him. They recently (2 months ago) had a baby girl, Gwyneth. She was born 15+ week early and is defying odds. I am simply amazed at the strengths of these families.

My point in telling you about these families is not to depress you. I look at these folks and I wonder why they are going through these things. Granted, they do not see them as "sad" or "unfortunate." This really makes me wonder if it is because of their relationship with God, that they have been selected to endure. Is it because they have such unwaivering faith, that they have been chosen? It makes me examine my own walk with Christ. Have I fully turned my heart over to him? Have I allowed Him full access into my heart, mind and body or do I keep Him at bay, only asking His opinion when I think I'm in need.

Most people in the situations that these families (and countless others) are in would ask "Why Me?" I've never heard, or read, this from either of these folks. Which makes me ask, "Why not me, God?" Why have I not had an experience like this? Why have I been "spared?" Maybe I'm not where I need to be, with my relationship with God, to endure such things, or maybe mine is yet to come. Either way, I lift these families up in prayer daily. I pray for them to have peace, rest, guidance and to feel the warmth and love that only God can provide. I hope that you'll pray along with me...