The Making of M.O.M.

Yesterday, the G.A.L. came by and told me that at Baby Girl's first court date (the first one that will determine permanency) will be on November 24th. Guess what? We will be on vacation. I'm so disappointed.

However, she also told me that they will reccommend starting Baby Girl's case with a concurrent plan of reunification with birth mom AND Termination of Parental Rights (TPR). This means, at the end of the next 3 months, which ever plan has had most progress, that's the one they stick with. Since birth mom has only showed up for one visit, I'm guessing TPR will soon follow.

Last night, I told all of this to my Mom and we had a LONG, LONG conversation. Mostly, about us adopting a child of another race. Though this has crossed my mind, and already we have had to deal with some strange stares in public, it seems more real now. I am excited to think that we could have a multi-racial family. However, another part of me is concerned that Baby Girl would feel so obviously different. When we take Baby D out, it isn't obvious that he isn't our son. With Baby Girl, such is not the case.

Her beauty captivates me. I love the way her dark skin looks next to our pale complexions. I love her dark lips and her jet black hair. I love it when she stares at me with her deep, dark eyes. I love the way her head smells. I love how her nose crinkles when she yawns and how she burps like a grown man. My heart is smitten with her and for me, when I look at her, I do not see skin color, but my daughter whom I love so very much.

Now, I want your opinion. I know that God has already placed the love in our hearts for Baby Girl, and we have not even considered NOT adopting her because of her race. This is not a black/white issue. This is not an issue of prejudice.

What I want your opinion on is, if you HAVE children who are of another race (or bi-racial children), or if you are planning on adopting children who are of another race how do you (or will you) deal with the hurtful things other say? I know that they will come, because they already have.

How do you (or will you) discuss with your child, as they grow older, WHY they look different from the rest of the family? I want to have as much knowledge as possible on what it is like to be a multi-racial family. I want to absorb all of the information I can so that when I'm faced with challenging comments or people who are simply hurtful, I will not lash back but respond in love. Should I even be concerned about all of this?

I know God has purposed her into our family for a reason, and that through it all He will show His unfailing love to us all. Thank you for your support and encouragement as we journey down these foreign paths.

Baby D still sees his birth parents twice a week. They are making slow progress in their case plan, however they cannot seem pass a drug screening. We did get permission from them to take him with us on our vacation next week. It frustrates me incredibly that we must ask permission from people who cannot get their act together for their son. On Monday, they canceled the visit because birth dad wasn't feeling well and birth mom was tired. It took everything I had to calm myself down. Seriously?

Until last week Baby Girl had not seen her birth mom except for 15 minutes at the very first visit. She showed up last week only because the social worker told grandma (b/c she's yet to speak with birth mom) that if she didn't show up all other visits would be canceled until court in December. Today, she was a no-show again. Still no word on whether we can take her on vacation or not.

Baby D has been sleeping through the night very well. He usually wakes up about 5:00 or 5:30am to eat, so with the time change it has been 4:00 or 4:30am. Otherwise, he's doing very well. He's just a big, fat, happy baby boy.

Baby Girl still wakes up several times throughout the night. She has been eating about every 3 to 3.5 hours. She HATES being wet or dirty and insists on her diaper being changed immediately. However, she HATES having her diaper changed. Poor girl can't catch a break.

Two Saturdays ago, the wonderful Kassakatis family came over to watch the kiddos while Luke and I had a full day to ourselves. We had no idea what we would do, but we found stuff to fill our time. We did go and see Fireproof. It was a great movie, with a great story, IF you can overlook some mediocre acting. Kirk Cameron and the main woman character were good, even though every time I saw him the theme song from "Growing Pains" flashed through my mind. Oh, I had such a crush on him when I was younger. Anyway, I would highly recommend ANYONE going to see it, married or single.

On Wednesday of next week we will be making the 700+ mile trip to Tenessee/Arkansas to see family. I am excited about seeing everyone but very anxious as to how the driving will play out with all 5 kids. Most likely, my internet access will be limited, which for me will be a good thing and hopefully be a time that I can read, catch up on some scripture memory I've been trying to do and just have a blog free week. My BFF Amanda does have the internet, so I might be able to squeak in a quick update.

Luke took Big Red in today to have it looked at the before the trip and we were told it needed $1,100 worth of work done to the shocks and ball bearings. *Sigh* I've called the dealership and I'm hoping that I can haggle my way into having them do the repairs. Guess we will see.