The Making of M.O.M.

My sweet Lucas boy is usually fun-loving, just a BIT strong-willed, but 100% completely lovable. He cracks himself up (and me too usually) and is just the cutest little (almost) 3 year old boy I've ever seen. These last few days have been pretty rough though, I won't lie.

Why, you ask? Well, if you've followed me on twitter at all, you will know that my sweet, adorable, strawberry blond, blue-eyed boy is being taken over by a mean, torturing little man. How's that? STEROIDS...my nemesis.

Within minutes of consuming this toxin, his personality alters to a state that I cannot recognize. I have noted that 1 teaspoon of ibuprofen does seem to alleviate SOME of his angerfilled self, but alas, he's a "Mean One" for the next 4-6 hours (just in time to receive his next dose).

Oh my word...it's B.A.D.

At any rate, I'd much rather reflect on the better times with my eldest son. Like last week for example, when we went on a whirlwind date that made me smile for days. Since Lucas is the ULTIMATE animal lover (unless it's a dog) we decided an evening of animal fun was in store.

First, we headed over to my parents' neighborhood to feed some of their "ducks" (read: geese). Apparently, these "ducks" go to bed quite early and do not love OVER-THE-TOP (almost) 3 year olds who insist on throwing balls of stale bread at them. I have no idea why they didn't flock to us. None at all.

At any rate, I got a ~~terrible~~ cute picture of my date, holding the bread, eyes shut tight - his new favorite pose.

After we both realized that there were no "ducks" on the planet in need of our company, we departed, determined to see something else that was alive that we could ~~take advantage of~~ admire from afar.

Naturally, the pet store was our target. But first, we needed something of substance, to tide us over for our animal adventure. What better than a stop at the 31 flavors to ease our rumbly tummys?

Lucas disappointed me BIG time with his poor selection of Mint Chocolate Chip. *sigh* I guess his father's attempts to brainwash him have been slightly successful. I moved past my gagging and enjoyed some Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, with a hint of mint.

I understand the conflict. Cone or cup. It's a tough choice.

After our refreshing scoops of ice cream, we were off to ~~torture~~ observe the animals awaiting us, all caged up, at the pet store.

First, we gazed upon schools of "pwish." "Wots and wots of pwish."

Then it was onto the "cwabs." For future notice, Lucas is "afwaid of cwabs."

Then we moved onto the birds,

which began Lucas' new idea, his sly request to take one home. As we would gaze upon the various animals, Lucas would look up at me, with BIG blue eyes and ask,

"Mom, can I sweep wif he-yum?"

To which I responded, "Um. No."

This question and answer continued with the cats,

(If you look closely, you will see the cat's paw on the glass, where Lucas' hand is. Tender.)

snakes (which I do not *shiver* have a picture of) and rats.

Finally, Lucas discovered his one true friend in the pet shop. A Chinese Water Dragon. As Lucas bent down to inspect the thing further, his "friend" leapt off the stick he was perched on and straight at Lucas' face. Lucas lurched back, fell onto his bottom and then began laughing.

"Oh look honey, he wants to be your friend." I half smirked, half gagged.

Upon that remark, Lucas fell in love. He and the Chinese Water Dragon, (who he just named, "Drag the Dragon") gazed into each others' eyes for a untimed period, whilst "Drag" continued to leap full steam at Lucas' face. Lucas would giggle, and I would shudder, wondering what that little lizard would really do if he could get past Plexiglas.

Then, I glanced down and saw the price of this tiny lizard. I'm guessing that the "pet experts" would not recommend this type of pet to a home with so many tiny, squeezy hands. Nonetheless, Lucas admired this wee Water Dragon as long as he could, until I had to pry him off the floor and carry him home.

I'm hoping our next date will involve fewer reptiles. The way to this girl's heart is NOT through molting. I'm just sayin'.

Wooooo hoooooo! It is finally Friday. I hope you will enjoy this week's edition of Das Not Funny! Friday. Since my "funk" has lifted, I am especially stoked to hear all of your funny stories from this week. However, before I get to you, let me tell you about me....er, some of the stuff that I found super hilarious this week.

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At the Goodwill store this week, I picked up 2 "new" movies for the kids. One of which was The Wizard of Oz. As we watched it for the first time Lucas said,

"Mommy, you get dat muuvie for us?"

"Yes, Bubbie, I sure did," I responded.

"Wow Mom! I so prowoud of you!" he exclaimed.

I aim to please the little people.

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Lucas LOVES opening our front door. It is (one of) his new found abilities. And if you remember this post, he is finding lots of things he now LOVES. This week, his two new loves collided while I was on the phone with my friend, Beth.

I hear the front door open and I turn and see Lucas, pants as his ankles, standing on our front porch mat. He's holding the door with one hand and his "wenis" with the other. He is mid-stream, peeing onto the concrete front porch.

I laughed (because really, mid-stream, what else can you do) and told him that when we pee outside we must aim for grass. Apparently, he made note of this.

An hour later when Luke arrived home, I told Lucas to tell his Dad where he had decided to pee. He walked to the front door and pointed to the puddle on the front porch (I had added a pitcher of water to the mix, for dilution purposes).

Then, he walks over to the edge of the porch, faces the street, drops his pants and pees into the flower bed. Luke and I are laughing so hard we cannot get out the words to tell him to stop.

Elizabeth rounds the corner and says, "Bub! Are you watering the flowers?"

Hey, at least he got it off the porch the second time.

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Ashlee can take FOREVER to fall asleep at night, especially if she is wound up at bedtime. One night this week she was exceptionally out of control WITH THE VOLUME OF HER VOICE. I walk into the girls' room and over to their bunk beds. I look at Elizabeth, who sleeps on the top bunk, and say,

"Who in the world is making all the racket in here?"

Without saying a word, Elizabeth points her finger to her mattress, toward her younger sister, with an air of authority. I bend down to the bottom bunk and ask Ashlee what her problem is, to which she replies.

"I don have a probwem. Do you?"

Yes, sweetie, I do. A little red-headed one to be exact.

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Luke and I have this ongoing argument about which of us has the prettier feet (yes, I know, we work the classy convos in as much as possible). At any rate, we each think the other spouse's feet are less than desirable. Some of our kids have an interesting mixture of our feet. Ashlee is one of them. As she finished up her bath, I examine her feet, eager to show Luke that her feet are almost a perfect 50/50 ratio of our feet (which will NOT work to her advantage one day, should she decide to pursue foot modeling).

Then, Luke poses a question. He and I both stretch out our feet in front of her and he asks,

"Ash. Who has the prettiest feet?"

To which she responds, "Me!" while extending her own foot.

So Luke asks again,

"But between Mommy and Daddy, who has the prettiest feet?"

To which she again replies, "ME!"

At least she's not vain. Oh...wait...

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Okay peeps, now it's your turn. Tell me all about the funny stuff you saw/heard/did this week. For serious. I NEED some laughs. It doesn't have to be about your kids because, let's face it, not all kids are as funny as ours....er, not all of you have kids...yet.

If you'd like the "official rules" you can go here, but for serious, its just not that hard. All you have to do is link your blog back to mine by using one of three options.

1) Use the handy dandy stuff in the box below. Just copy it, then paste it into your "Edit Html" tab where you normally compose your messages.

It’s finally Friday! How many times this week did you hear or see something and think… “Das Not Funny!” but then realize that it actually was pretty funny? Well, such is the purpose of this blogapolooza known as Das Not Funny! Friday.
Check out <a href="http://themakingofmom.blogspot.com"> this blog </a> to see what else is not funny. Plus, by going <a href="http://themakingofmom.blogspot.com">over here</a> you can see who else has seen or heard something and thought Das Not Funny! then stifled a giggle or even laughed out loud! Come on, you know you wanna…

2) Use the button up there on the top right hand side of my sidebar. Again, just copy that code then paste it into the "Edit Html" tab.

3) Use neither of the above referenced super-handy materials and just use a regular 'ol link to link back to my blog.

THEN, after you've written your post and linked back be sure to do this VERY important step....

Put your OWN info into Mr. Linky down at the bottom. Mr. Linky won't spam you, I promise. In fact, Mr. Linky only does what I say (okay so that's only partially true, but still...).

By getting on the Mr. Linky bandwagon, EVERYONE who comes here (all 15 of you) will know where to go to find super hilarious stuff to cheer up their Friday.

And, if you don't have a blogger account (I won't name names, but one of you has a name that starts with "K" and ends with "im") you can for certain leave your funny stories (of "S" and "J") in the comment section. I'm sure equal humor is permitted there as well.

So what are you waiting for? Make me laugh peeps, MAKE ME LAUGH...

The Infamous Mr. Linky