The Making of M.O.M.

Yes! It's finally (almost) Friday! How many times this week did you see, or do, something this week and stifle a chuckle? Well, when that happens to me, my daughter Ashlee looks at me, scowls her face and says, "Das Not Funny Mommy!" Which, in turn, makes me laugh even more. Because truly it is so very funny. Thus the purpose of this bloggapoluza known as Das Not Funny! Friday.

Here are the things I found funny this week:

Lucas and I headed out to Walmart to pick up some things one afternoon. As we were walking through the parking lot, we approached an elderly lady loading her purchases into the trunk of her car. She was wearing a hat much like this one (minus those dope shades):

In his typical, louder-than-necessary, voice he says to me, "Mom! Look! A Cowboy!"

We've encountered cowboys before, but somehow, I didn't think this lady wanted to A) Be called a man. Or B) Entertain a (almost) 3 year old.

"No, honey, that's not a cowboy." I replied.

"Yep, it is Mom. A Grandma Cowboy!" he said with a squeal.

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Elizabeth to Ashlee: "You be the Mom and I'll be the Grandma."
Ashlee in response: "Ooooo, you're old."

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And finally, I forgot to actually write down all the funny stuff that they said this week, so I'm going to post some pictures that really cracked me up.

She's faster than everyone in our family. When she turns on the jetts, she can smoke her siblings. This would be the face she makes when she's at top speed.

We opted to be "fun parents" this week and took Ashlee's mattress off the bottom bunk and put it at the bottom of the stairs (the girls' bunk beds have stairs, not a ladder). Then, we let the kids jump onto the mattress. This is Lucas' face, upon landing.

Ashlee, "carrying" Aaron to her bedroom. (By the way, if you look closely in the upper right hand corner of the picture, you will see the "stairs" I referenced in the picture of Lucas.)

That's all I got this week. I know, I know, it stinks. This week I will write them down again, I promise. Since mine was so lame, I'm gonna really have to rely on you all to bring the belly laughs.

Simply create your own Das Not Funny! Friday post and somewhere in it link back here to my blog. Then, once that's done simply type your own URL (your web address) into Mr. Linky, along with the name you'd like displayed.

See! It's SUPER simple. If you'd like an easy schmezy way to link back to my blog, you can copy the info in the box below and paste it into your "Edit Html" tab where you would normally compose your blog posts.

It’s finally Friday! How many times this week did you hear or see something and think… “Das Not Funny!” but then realize that it actually was pretty funny? Well, such is the purpose of this blogapolooza known as Das Not Funny! Friday.
Check out <a href="http://themakingofmom.blogspot.com"> this blog </a> to see what else is not funny. Plus, by going <a href="http://themakingofmom.blogspot.com">over here</a> you can see who else has seen or heard something and thought Das Not Funny! then stifled a giggle or even laughed out loud! Come on, you know you wanna…

Naturally, if you don't have a blog, you can always leave your funny stuff in the comment section. Alrighty folks, crack my stuff up!

For over a year now, Elizabeth has been asking for me to teach her how to speak Spanish. Since my Spanish is only fluent in the presence of my good friend "Jose" and his partner, "Rita" I opted out of teaching her from my own knowledge base. Instead, I took on the task at last year's Homeschoolers convention to find a good Spanish curriculum that was, er..."compatible" with my DVD player.

It was then, while I endlessly scanning the shelves for a Spanish teaching course that my "friend" Emily told me of the Spanish kits that she had at home, free for my use. I am using the term "friend" loosely with her now, or at least until she lavishes me with profuse apologies. Let me explain further.

A few months after last year's convention, Emily brought by two confetti splattered boxes, promising that Elizabeth could sit and watch, and I believe she even used the words "learn some Spanish."

Those boxes, ashamedly, sat in our garage (just where she sat them down) for an untold number of months. In fact, I distinctly remember moving those boxes inside one afternoon, not so long ago, when I knew that Emily and her children would be coming over for a playdate. After all, I didn't want her to think I was carelessly allowing them to sit in our hot, dirty garage, mindlessly collecting dust.

Flash forward to last night. Luke and I were debriefing each other about our day (okay, I was spilling forth the tireless efforts of nap time to him, looking for some sympathy). I stated to my sweet, dear husband that I thought that Elizabeth was finally, and all too sadly, outgrowing her nap. He very tenderly suggested that I use that time to show Elizabeth a video on letters or numbers or something educational.

"Well, we do have some Spanish lesson videos somewhere around here," I casually commented.

"Oh, she would love those, wouldn't she?" he added.

I agreed and thought to myself that it was just too perfect. Afterall, Elizabeth spent most of her dinner time on Sunday night at the mexican resturaunt, treating our waitress as her personal Spanish-English Dictionary.

Yes, it was time to literally dust off those Spanish lesson videos and finally regain my sanity during nap time. And today was that day.

After deciding that my mensa-like daughter should probably start on the beginner level, I open the funfetti-esque box of goodness, almost giggling to myself. I just knew that these videos would be my key to a quiet, rested, Spanish speaking house. I located "Leccion Uno" and popped it into our...VCR? (That should have been red flag #1.)

I begin with the "Introducion." Elizabeth and I sit eagerly, waiting for the abundance of Spanish knowledge to seep into her spongelike brain. The screen flashes to life and I see two people, walking along side a large body of water, telling us about how amazing their spanish program will be for our family.

"Yes! Yes!" I silently squeal, "Get to the goods!"

For what seems like an eternity (but was really only about 5 minutes), Mr. Y Mrs. Espanol continued to explain the greatness of their Spanish video program.

"Blah, blah, blah...watch these videos with your children. Blah, blah, blah...this is a family learning session...blah, blah, blah."

I glance over at my daughter. She looks at me.

"Mom, can we get to the part where I learn Spanish?" she pleads.

I concurr and find the VCR remote. I begin to fast-forward, certain that within a few moments, pearls of Spanish wisdom will begin to flash onto our TV. I fast forward more, then more, then more AND MORE.

I keep the VCR on fast forward, go to the bathroom, clean the kitchen, mop all my floors, wash 6 loads of laundry and return to the TV. Mr. Y Mrs. Espanol are STILL discussing the grandios of their Spanish lesson videos. (Okay, we all know that was a tad of an exaggeration. But I would seriously guess that the "Introducion" lasted approximately 45 minutes. 45 minutes of Mr. Y Mrs. standing in front of a large body of water. Talking. Endlessly.)

Finally, "Leccion Uno" begins. I have to say, at least with "Introducion" we had the option of watching the waves in the background or, perhaps, grass grow.

Below is the email that I promptly sent to my wonderful, darling, idea filled husband.

Dear Honey Pie,

I guess you watched those spanish lesson videos before you recommended them to me last night?

I'm sure you have.

I'm sure your idea was that it was SO INCREDIBLY FREAKIN' BORING that it would force Elizabeth to hide her face, under a pillow, thus relaxing her and causing her to fall asleep.

Or maybe you knew that it would cause such little amounts of brain stimulation, that she would not be able to withstand the state of boredom and fall into a comatose state, causing her to nap like nobody's business.

Or MAYBE, you knew that it would cause her to appreciate PBS, thus never complaining again that we don't get any of the "fun" shows anymore.

Or just maybe, you wanted her to realize that learning spanish is NOT AT ALL FUN, and anyone who comes into "our" country should buck up and learn some spanglish.

Whatever your intentions, I commend you on your efforts. Clearly she will hate spanish the rest of her life, never want to see a confetti decorated box, and ultimately, think the Public Broadcasting System is God's gift to all children, across the country.

Love you,

Your wife (who's eyes and ears are bleeding as she types this. I wonder if blood stains are covered in the laptop's 6 month warranty?)

I'm sure my "friend" Emily will be on my doorstep soon, to retrieve not only our friendship, but her super awesome confetti covered boxes. And this year at convention, I plan on shopping for a Spanish curriculum ALONE.