The Making of M.O.M.

Tuesday marked 3 weeks since Ella's arrival. According to friends and family, the jury is still out on who she looks the most like. Some people say Luke others say me. Personally, I think she looks a little bit like each of our biological children, having different characteristics of each of them when they were babies.

In my opinion though, hands down Ella resembles Elizabeth's baby photos most. It's almost creepy. As I've looked back through some baby photos of all 5 of the older children, I've realized a couple things.

1) My hair has changed A LOT in the last 6 years. I mean, like, it's changed YEARLY. And, because I liked my hair so much in one of the photos, Went and got it all cut off yesterday. Like, to my chin cut off (it was probably 4-5 inches below my shoulders before). I'll try to post a photo sometime soon.

2) After Elizabeth, none of the other children have very many photos of them, by themselves, as babies. Probably because if I'm holding the camera that means someone else is holding the baby and in most cases, it's a sibling.

So, take a walk with me, if you so desire, down memory lane. If you don't desire, look away now. In keeping with Ella's 3 week old status, most of these photos were taken of the kids when they were 3 weeks old. Let's compare, shall we?

This is Elizabeth at around 3 weeks old. I can barely see any of that baby face in my 5.5 year old girl now, which hurts this Momma's heart just a little.

Okay, the photo above isn't of the twins at 3 weeks, but this is the photo I liked of my hair and I decided yesterday, at the last minute, to go even shorter than this. That's Luke's Dad and Step-Mom in the photo with us.

Here are the twins at 3 weeks-ish and Elizabeth just shy of 2 years old. Man, I thought those days were full of chaos. Funny how God was preparing me for a life of chaos that entire time and I never even knew it.

Here is Aaron at around 3 weeks old and I'm not sure who that sweet, little, chubby faced, 2 year old boy is holding him because I'm fairly certain that person was quickly replaced by an (almost) four year old boy in the blink of an eye.

Here's my sweet Olivia girl at 3 weeks old. This was her first "real" bath. I can hardly believe she was ever that tiny. Look at those sweet, little lips! I just wanna smooch them!

Finally, here is one of Ella Joy that I just took a few minutes ago. Lemme put that first photo of Elizabeth down here so you can adequately compare the two.

Crazy huh?

Luke made a comment the other night that he couldn't believe Ella was already 3 weeks old. To which I replied that I couldn't believe she was only 3 weeks old because it had felt like she'd been here much longer than that and I could hardly remember life before her.

On a totally different note, this weekend is DiscipleNow Weekend with our church's youth. I blogged about it here and here two D*Weekends ago. I just can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to spending my weekend with a house full of teenagers! I always walk away from the weekend way more blessed than I ever thought possible. So, most likely, I won't post a Das Not Funny! Friday tomorrow. If you'd like a laugh though you can always click on the Das Not Funny! Friday button over on my right sidebar and it will take you to the Das Not Funny! Friday archives (or click on that little link I just provided you, because I'm handy like that).

I hope y'all have a great weekend!

It's been almost a whole month since I blogged about what God is revealing to Luke and I about the direction He wants our family to take. Sorry about that. It wasn't intentional. Let me catch those of you who may be new around these parts up to speed.

For over a year now, Luke and I have been praying through where we feel God is leading our family. I have avoided blogging about it here because, well...truthfully...I wasn't sure. I was afraid that I'd say something then it would never come to pass and then I'd look like a stupid Christian who blindly follows some pie-in-the-sky God who really doesn't speak to people.

And, the truth still remains that I will most likely tell you what I feel God has been pressing on our hearts and I'll still get it wrong. But the difference now is that I can clearly see how God has worked in our family over the last year. He has shown us, in some pretty profound ways, that He is, indeed, in control. He has shown us that giving up everything we think we know to follow His lead may make us look like idiots to the world. And finally, I think we are okay with that.

Finally.

The post below was originally written on the private blog my husband and I share. I wrote it on February 11, 2009.

If you've not read this post or this post yet, you might want to read those before continuing this one. Keep in mind that I share these things with you all not because I believe in myself or because I speak with any shred of self-worth. Luke and I are not super-Christians nor do we have this whole Jesus-follower thing figured out. Actually, quite the opposite is true. We stumble through the day to day trying to see where God is leading and we mess up, a lot.

My purpose in sharing these posts with you is because I simply want you to see how incredibly big God is and how amazing it is that the God who created stars and planets and microscopic particles desires to use a hopelessly flawed, imperfect being like me to accomplish His purposes.

My prayer is that through us, you may see Him.

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Originally posted on 2/11/09:

After that trip to Virginia, I felt my heart being stirred for missions. However, this was not the first time. Before we were pregnant with the twins, I attended several of our Mission's Pastor's meetings about church mission trips.

However, as the decision day for the trips approached {and it was time to make the deposits for the trip to Zimbabwe, the one I felt drawn to}, Luke and I started making plans to add to our small family. The next month I became pregnant with Lucas and Ashlee. I knew that a mission trip while pregnant was not a good idea {at least not one to a 3rd world country and the only mission trip within the US that our church was sponsoring was a construction trip, again not do-able for a pregnant lady}.

{Soon the twins were born and} as our life became overly busy with the bustle of 3 children, ages 2 and younger, missions became a faint whisper in my heart. My focus was on these babies, foreign missions seemed to be a thing of the past. What I could not understand was why the thoughts still lingered? Although the desire was not as strong, I knew that we were being prepared for A mission field. I felt that it was incredibly intentional that we were chosen {by God} to parent 3 children within a 2 year period. I knew that dealing with chaos, changing many, many, many diapers, interpreting toddler talk, kissing boo boos and settling toy disputes was all training for a later purpose.

As the twins grew older and became more and more mobile, I became incredibly frustrated with our small (to us) house. The search began for a new home and a stirring in my heart was kindled once more.

This time, the longing wasn't for foreign missions, but a mission within our own home. Conversations of adding more children to our abundant quiver became regular and Luke and I quickly realized that our calling was to be focused within the walls of our own home. I had felt long ago that we would bring in "outside" children, but Luke took a while to warm up (as he does with all things).

In October of 2007 we moved into our new home {you know, the one we just sold last month?}. About a month after {we moved in}, Luke and I were lying in bed. He looked at me and said,

"You still think about becoming foster parents?"

I looked at him in shock. You see, we hadn't spoken about this for almost a year.

I stammered out a reply of shock mixed with joy.

The next day I called the Department of Social Services and in February we began our classes to become licensed foster parents. If you've followed our story at all, you will know that our sweet Baby Aaron (Baby D) was born THE DAY we got licensed and 4 days later he joined our family as our first fostering placement.

And now, just as it happened just a few short years ago, I am feeling that stirring. This time, it is focused once more outside of our home, something missions related. Although I do not know the end result, I do know these few things:

1) Luke and I both feel a calling to something new, outside of our comfort zone.

2) It is consistent and does not fade.

3) It will be completely God inspired and a total act of obedience, something we have already experienced with our calling to foster.

4) The more time I spend in God's word, the more I feel an ache that is deep within my heart. Something to do with Africa and it's hurting children.

Oh, merciful, magnificent and marvelous Father. I feel a deep ache within my heart, a burden you have placed within me, and something that only you can reveal to me. I pray Lord, that as I grow in maturity that you will reveal to Luke and I exactly what our next calling will be. I praise you Lord for choosing me, a sinful servant, to fulfill your work. In Jesus sweet name, Amen.