Decay

I sat, reclined way back in the chair, as she updated me on her family, while her tools filled my mouth. She scraped, I listened to how her son liked his first year of "big" school.

I knew the question was coming among the small talk we were making back and forth.

Side note: Why do they do that? If you are dental hygienist, can you explain this to me? Why do y'all ask a question, then shove your tools in our mouth so that there is no possible way in the universe that we could ever answer you? Every.single.time.

Anyway, she asked how our kids were doing, how homeschooling was going, how my teeth were feeling. I like my hygienist. She always seems to remember the details of my life, even though I'm sure she's just reflecting on the notes in my chart.

I knew the question was coming. As she scraped the plaque off my teeth, especially in the nooks and crannies and spaces between, I knew it was bound to be next out of her mouth.

"Are you brushing regularly?"

"Yes." I stated hesitantly, because I knew it was coming. "I can tell," she responded, "you have great teeth."
She scraped and scraped. The dentist came in and checked. They took that little mirror and explored my entire mouth. Nothing inside it was a secret anymore.

The dentist gave me a clean bill of health. Well, at least as far as my mouth goes, anyway. Then, she came at me with that stuff. I knew the question that was next.

"So, are you flossing every day?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

For a brief moment, I thought about lying. But, like I always do, I confessed the truth. "No," I said ashamedly, my mouth full of floss and her fingers.

"When was the last time you flossed?" she asked.

"Um...I think you did it," I said and sort of laughed, "or maybe a few months ago when I had something I couldn't get out between my teeth."

"Well, at least you're honest," she laughed.

(Am I the only one who knows the question is coming, yet it doesn't prompt me to floss regularly before my next visit?)

And then it hit me. Isn't that exactly how my prayer life is? Because, (I'm going to be honest y'all) my prayer life sorta stinks. Like that stinky old, nasty stuff that grows between my teeth.

Today, I think I figured out why. I'm afraid y'all. I'm afraid that when I enter the presence of the Lord He's going to flush out all the nasty, gross, disgusting decay that's growing in the places that I try my best to keep hidden. And he should. But truthfully, I don't want Him to. It hurts.

But really, I mean, who am I trying to kid? The Lord already knows everything that's in there. Just like my sweet dental hygienist, there's no lying about all the stuff I'm able to keep secret from everyone else.

If my BFF asked me if I floss everyday, I could easily say, "Yeah. Sure, I do." But the dentist knows differently. The same is true with the Lord. It's easy to put up the perception of being a "good" Christian. I can spout off Scripture, give you some Biblical truth served up on a silver platter and even lead Bible studies. But if my prayer life is amiss, it all seems, well....fake. It's like I smile and on the outside appear to have this great mouth full of teeth. But one glance in the mirror and well, I know how long it's been since the nastiness was removed.

My hearts desire is to get on my knees and cry out to my Lord. But, truthfully, I'm afraid. I'm afraid He'll see the truth and then maybe change His mind about calling us to the mission field, or maybe I really can't handle all these kids, or maybe He messed up giving me the blessing of a Godly husband.

(source)

But the real truth is, He sees it anyway. No tiny mirrors needed. He sees it all. And yet, He chooses to bless me despite the decay I allow to grow in the crevices of my soul. My sinful desires override my spirit's desires to make me clean, from the inside out. I get so frustrated with myself and I wonder why I don't feel near to the Lord.

I think the answer is on my knees. I need to go before the King, beg him to remove the decay and stench from my soul and purify me. Then, the nearness will come.

And then, maybe, search for that spool of dental floss.

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What do you do to keep your prayer life in check?

Threefold cord

*Alternately titled: Amanda's Bridal Portraits*

Remember when I posted engagement pictures of our sweet, amazing, awesome babysitter/Nanny Amanda and her terrific fiance Nick? (No? Well, that's what that link was for.)

Then, I posted sneak peek pictures of Amanda's bridal portraits? Do you want to see more? I know you do. She's breathtaking, really.

Last week, Amanda and Nick made it official. I'm still a little dazed at the fact that they're really married. Over the last year, I've watched their relationship blossom. It's not always been easy, and had it been I probably would have been worried. But they've both stepped up to the plate and decided that the thing that's most important in their relationship is Christ.

Both Amanda and Nick have grown in leaps and bounds in their relationships with the Lord. Nick has started going to the weekly men's Bible study that Luke is a part of and Amanda's joined my women's group. As Nick has blessed my man with his walk with the Lord, Amanda has equally blessed mine.

There's nothing special about Luke or I. There's really nothing extraordinary about our small groups. But, the fact that Nick and Amanda desired to begin their marriage deeply rooted in solid study of Scripture is HUGE. I remember feeling so burdened for them when they first announced their engagement.

In fact, the next time Amanda came over, I felt compelled to tell her something I felt the Holy Spirit had firmly pressed on my heart.

"Amanda, I know you didn't ask me for advice, but I'm going to give you some anyway." My heart was pounding in my chest because I didn't want to offend her but I knew I needed to say what the Lord had so clearly told me.

"My prayer for you is that you will spend the next months before your wedding focusing more on becoming a wife rather than becoming a bride. I really wish I had done that."

She smiled and nodded in agreement. Luke and I began to pray for them both. A month or so later she joined our group and Nick joined the men's group. Over the course of the months leading up to their wedding, something changed in my relationship with Amanda. At first, I was hesitant because, after all, she works for us.

But I'm so glad that she's allowed me into her life, into some hard places and we've walked some roads together. Now, Amanda's not our babysitter/Nanny.

Now, she's a treasured friend.

I love her so much and I'm so honored that she allowed me front row seats on the last year of her life.

I was a bundle of nerves the day of their wedding, hoping we had prepared enough, had enough food and everything would go smoothly. But, after I ushered my little people to the top of the aisle and then went around and took my seat, I sat there, eyes fixed on Nick.

The music began and I glanced over my shoulder. I saw her coming around the corner and then Luke and I both turned back to Nick. My favorite part of the bride's entrance is watching the groom. As Nick grew teary eyed, my own hot tears streamed down my face. I looked at my own husband and thought about how much our lives had changed in the last 8.5 years.

I sobbed. Luke cried.

And now, a week later, they're married. I'm so excited to see what the Lord is going to do in their life! I know they will have struggles, I know they will have moments of doubt and fear. But above all, they've placed their marriage on the altar before God. I know the Lord Himself is eager to reveal to them His plans. I can't wait to watch it all unfold. All the while praying that they continue to keep Christ as the 3rd and central cord in their marriage.

And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. - Ecclesiastes 4:12